Emotions

This post will probably seem a bit...unorganized. And it is. My head is. My thoughts are. Everything is just a big pile of confusion sometimes.

I've just been pondering my emotions lately... Why I feel the way I do about certain things. Why do I let my emotions take over my life so much? Can I control them? What's the reasoning behind them? Should I ignore them? Should I embrace them? Am I overreacting about certain things, or is it okay for me to feel how I do? It's frustrating because I have such overwhelming emotions and feelings ALL THE TIME. The tiniest thing could happen, and BAM- I'm an emotional wreck. I have no control over it! I don't understand it. Like, I know we should embrace what we're feeling and maybe take a step back to figure out what's causing that feeling, etc... It's just so hard to do. Especially when it's a recurring feeling. Now I know I'm more emotional than the average person (at least I think I am, compared to what I hear everyone else is feeling)... Is there a way to fix it?

I have friends and family members who are carefree and don't worry about half the stuff I do, and I get so angry at them and myself for not being able to be like that! I wish I could just brush things off and not randomly have emotional breakdowns over the most stupid shit. But I cannot hide them. And I overanalyse every goddamn thing... A comment on Facebook, a comment about someone, a remark in response to something I've said, etc. Then I just replay it in my head OVER and OVER! What the heck?! Why do I do that?! Wahhh.

Sorry. This is just a rant of confusion. And maybe I'd like to know I'm not alone in this? Or maybe I am and I'm just crazy. :P

*sigh*.... Who knows. Emotions and feelings and thoughts... They just make me nutso. For real. But I guess I'm human. I'm not perfect. The first step is admitting I have a problem, right?

Feeling Needed

I've always been one to reach out to those who need help, and have always been a shoulder for someone to cry on, and an ear to listen if someone wants to vent. It's always been a great feeling to know someone wanted or needed me, even if it was for the smallest thing. It makes me feel appreciated and like I have purpose.

After spending every day with my little cousins, I've grown to like this feeling more and more. Since both girls have become accustomed to me being around, they reach out to me when they're in need or when someone new, or just someone they're not used to, is around. It makes me so happy! Little kids have always hated me, and I've never really been fond of them... I don't know why, but that's just how it had always been. But now that I've been with the girls so much, they actually really love me and want to be with me. They get a huge smile on their faces when they see me or if they're crying, they become comforted being in my arms or even just my presence. It feels so nice to feel that, and know I'm needed. I'm sure this is how many mothers and fathers feel as well because their children couldn't survive without the parents'/ guardians love, tenderness, and care for them.

Not only with little kids, but with adults (especially friends, family, loved ones, etc.) as well: it's great to be recognized or receive appreciation for something I've done. I'm sure everyone feels this way in some way or another. A simple smile, hug, or a big "Thank you!" from someone can really go a long way. I feel like we don't express our gratitude towards others enough. Lately I've been wanting to improve on this; letting those who help me in any way know how much I appreciate them and what they do. It really makes a big difference. Or just SHOW someone you care and love them by doing simple things. I'm a firm believer in karma, in that if you do good towards others, it'll come back to you. :)

Tell your girlfriend/ wife they're beautiful. Hold the door for someone, or say thank you if someone does it for you. Help your parents around the house. Share a dessert with someone. Give someone a hug if they're having a bad day. Spread the love, kindness, and thankfulness. Little things go a long way! <3

Something's Off...Do you know that feeling?

Do you know that feeling...

when you lose something, but you don't have any idea where it is?

when you're forgetting something, but you don't know what it is?

when you feel guilty about something, but you don't need to be?

when you're lost, and you can't find your way back to where you want to be?

when you want to say something to someone, but it's just not the right time to do so?

when you miss someone so much it hurts physically, psychologically, and emotionally?

when you have an urge to do something, but don't know how to go about doing it?

where you're just so overwhelmed with things, that all you can do to overcome it is to sit by yourself and cry for a while?

where all you want is to be optimistic, but pessimism keeps taking over?

where everyone is telling you a million things, and you don't know what your own feelings are anymore?

where it seems like everything you've ever wanted has come crashing down, and you don't know how to handle the new path in front of you?

Right now. All of these things are all I'm feeling. I don't know why. I don't know how. I need to fix it. I want it to change. It came out of nowhere. It's hard. I'm not sure how to handle it. So I'm venting here. Perhaps someone can relate? Anyone? Positive thoughts are welcomed.

xo

(source for all photos: pinterest)